Karma (Sanskrit kárma, kárman- "act, action, performance"[1]; Pāli kamma) (pronunciation (help·info)) is the concept of "action" or "deed" in Dharmic religions understood as denoting the entire cycle of cause and effect.
As the manager of my apartment building, I needed to come up with a solution to the illegal laundry room that the city had demolished in the back of the building, and so the project started of emptying out the basement where the hot water boiler is and making it the laundry room.
The basement has a hot water heater in the middle of it and there was several tons of garbage that had accumulated down there from years of tenants storing stuff down there, and then leaving it behind. There is a coal furnace down there that is sealed off with cement that gives me the creeps every time I walk past it. There was also an old tin coal chute that had to be ripped out, and then large shelves that we soaked with rotting books and magazines, old phones, and computers.
When it was all cleaned out, the floor was painted and new lights installed. We put in two washers and two dryers and everyone was really happy. Then it started....... rat droppings. First I noticed them up on a ledge next to the staircase (and was hoping that they were several years old and not fresh). But those were all cleaned up and now I was noticing new rat droppings. BIG rat droppings.
So I set two traps with peanut butter in them and hoped for the best. One day went by. Then two days went by. On the third day I caught one. It was really big. It went in the garbage. I set the trap again and went to check on it two days later. The trap was gone! Who could have taken the trap? Why would they take the trap? None of the tenants had mentioned finding anything. There were two small smears of blood on the freshly painted concrete floor. I looked in the water that sits at the base of the hot water heater (where the washers pump into and a sump pump gets rid of the water) and there was the rat, floating in the water. It had fallen off the ledge in it's struggle to get free. I felt bad for the little guy.
I found the third rat several days after it was caught and it had started to decompose. It smelled and I had to throw the trap away and couldn't re-use it.
My tenant, Micah, found the fourth rat when she went down to do laundry.
I bought 2 more traps but haven't caught any this week (and I haven't seen any new rat droppings).
So, two weeks ago, I met with my AA sponsor, and since my work schedule is preventing me from getting to very many meetings, he strongly suggested that I get a commitment speaking on a panel at a hospital. Wednesday night, I was at a meeting and someone announced that she couldn't keep her panel commitment at the UCLA Psych Ward and was looking to give it away. I took the bait.
I arrived at the hospital on Sunday afternoon right on time. We went to the fourth floor of the Ronald Reagan Medical Building (ironic, since the Reagan administration closed many mental health facilities in the 80's and put people out on the street). We were escorted through two locked doors before the four of us gathered in the community room with 8 patients (all of whom had unsuccessfully attempted suicide). My mind quickly shot back to my 28th birthday in 1991 and my own experience in a psychiatric facility and being detained in four point restraints the first four days I was there. I immediately got emotional and the leader asked me to share first. I was overwhelmed with emotion. I tried to choke back the tears, but they stayed there, welling up in my eyes. My voice cracked as the emotion lodged in the back of my throat and I began to tell my story. I saw myself in each of their eyes. I hadn't tried to commit suicide, but there were too many other reminders (sandals or cotton footies instead of shoes with laces) a schedule written on a white board, every hour had an activity and was accounted for. The nervous twitching of the feet, and other side affects from medications I didn't know anything about. I WAS AT GROUND ZERO. I was rocketed into the Fourth dimension as my story came pouring out. The other three people shared, then a young girl shared who is addicted to heroin. She wants to quit, but she knows she is not done. We stood in a circle, held hands and said the Serenity Prayer. God, grant me the serenity, to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
I got out to my car, started it, put the car in reverse and started backing out of the parking space when I heard a clunk and I couldn't turn the steering wheel.
Called roadside service and by the time a real person came on the phone, my phone battery went dead. Walked to a pay phone on the UCLA campus and called again. They would be 45 minutes. At least my car was running (the power steering just wasn't working)
Towed it to the dealer. Dealer called monday morning and told me a RAT got caught in the power steering belt, which broke the belt and pulley.
God, grant me the serenity, to accept the rats I cannot kill,
The courage to kill the rats I can,
And the wisdom to know whether to keep killing rats or let them live.
Was that my rat karma for killing the first four? Hopefully this rat was the last..........
